What could it hurt?

The 'almost-shooting' at nearby Mueller Park Jr. High is, in this day and age, old news by now. Some have suggested, sadly, that mass shootings, whether a desirable outcome or not, may be the new normal. I am not wishing to re-tell the story but I use this most recent event as a point of reference.

This experience took place in the uncharted waters of my emotional ocean.  I've felt fear and panic and relief and gratitude before, but never in quite this perfect mixture at the same time, and certainly never this close to home.  I went to that school in my youth so when the story was recounted to me I knew exactly the location setting.  It felt surreal, and even with all the reassurances that the students were safe, and my child was as far away as he could have been while still being in the same building, it still opened up a 17-lane freeway of thoughts and feelings.  For any who may be wondering, this will not be about religion or gun-control or anything political,  I am also not here to vilify anyone - and that includes the would-be shooter and his parents.  I have my reasons but if you disagree we can have that discussion another time.

As far as we know, he (the almost-shooter) had friends, was an average student and had parents who loved him.  We all know that 14 - 15 is the most awkward age for mankind.  Everything going on inside the body at that time is a chemical scrambled egg, so something was going on in his life that made him feel this was an avenue worth considering.  There are, obviously, other and better ways of coping but (and I'm only guessing here) in the depths of whatever it was he was going through, those alternatives seemed (to him at least) like they would be ineffective, or take too long to relieve his pain.  I don't suffer from any sort of anxiety or depression so if any of you have experience with it, please weigh in.

So why do I bring this up?  As I said at the beginning, this story is old news but, lest I sound cliche', we don't know what battles people are fighting so we need to be kind - to EVERYONE.  I look at some people close to me and wonder how they have it all together.  I can't imagine what struggles they have so I write them off as 'perfect' - or as close to it as they can be.  Lest any of you think I have it all together, I can assure you that I do not.  I'm just one of those who, when I'm struggling, I prefer to suffer in silence.  I suppose on some level that I'd make the experience complete and dignity-free were I to open up to someone about it.

This boy may have had every advantage to not go down the road that he did, but we don't know, so the only thing we can control is how we treat each other.  It may have no effect but since we can't be sure, we at least know it can't hurt - and until we get a firm grip on the psyche of a would-be shooter, that's all we can really hope for, isn't it?

What could it hurt?

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255
Veterans Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233


You may also have heard of the video simply titled "Evan".  You can probably find it easily enough.  It was produced by http://www.sandyhookpromise.org so you can find it there too.