WARNING: The second half of this post is angry. I'll probably feel differently tomorrow but writing in the moment captures the emotions better.
What Mother's Day SHOULD be...
I know this is going to shock some of you but Mother's Day is supposed to be a day for...............wait for it..............celebrating mothers. Do you feel enlightened yet? To be fair the really irresponsible girls who ingest cocktails of narcotics and then get pregnant only to pass on their irresponsible lifestyle to their offspring might be one of several exceptions to this but you get the idea. Most any female can biologically be defined as a "mother" after conception and birth, but there's a more stringent set of rules to getting the title of "mommy" or "mom" and having it mean something.
Emma Thompson's character Dr. Diana Redden in the film "Junior" summed it up pretty well. "Your body gets peculiar with your first period and doesn't stop until menopause. It's a lifetime of leaking and swelling and spotting and smears - crippling cramps, raging hormones, yeasts - and that's if everything's normal". To whomever may read this, I don't quote this line to start a battle of the sexes. The genders are separate and different for various reasons and I really don't want to get into it. My point in saying this is that it's really not too much to ask to let the mother of your children (or your own mother) have one day a year of "me" time. Breakfast in bed, a date night without the kids, or even leaving her alone completely are all viable options. The idea is that it should be catered to her so find out what she wants.
Now, what Mother's Day was like in MY family today...
My siblings and all their children showed up at my parents place for dinner and a visit. That's what we'd normally do anyway so it's not a biggie, but since we're living there there's a new wrinkle that I'll get into later. Those that know me already know why I'm living there, those that don't can read previous blog posts and find out.
Anyway, the point is that since dad isn't capable of helping mom out at all and she's really in no shape to be entertaining in the first place, guess who gets stuck with most of the preparations? I guarantee if we weren't still living there they'd hold the celebration someplace else, or at least help out more. To be fair, they do bring potluck so it doesn't fall solely on us but mom wants the place clean for these types of occasions so we have to clean up before they get here. Not a small request when my two children are involved. One of my sisters actually called up to ask what my wife had planned for Mother's Day. I don't cook and since my parents want the company they looked to us to make it happen. I help out where I can but this year I was trying to get my wife's Mother's Day gift ready and I wasn't planning on preparing for the extra company.
So the family gets here, the chaos begins and somebody spills something that the dog promptly eats only to hork it back up on our dry-clean-only bedspread later. After everything is consumed and the dirty dishes are in the sink there's a short time for 'visiting' (I guess that's what they call it when they have time enough to not offer to help tidy up) and then it's time for them to go. Most of the kids do okay. There's one or two that still haven't learned basic manners but their parents are the ones I take issue with. I suspect their attitude is that any mess their kid makes will just be blamed on one of mine since we live here, our kids are younger and we'll have to clean it up anyway. Besides, since they both have kids they are mothers by definition, and therefore don't have to do anything on this day to celebrate them. I don't doubt they are wonderful moms but they've obviously passed on their lack of knowledge of being a guest to their kids.
Upon their departure we're left with a dirty crock pot, a sink full of dishes and a bedspread that smells like dog-hork, not to mention we get to clean up everything else they've dumped out too like games, books, DVD's and the like. Good thing I won't be here for Thanksgiving this year or I'd be tempted to go defecate in their cars while they're all still eating.
To top it all off I had a great mom's day gift in mind but the effing thing didn't work so I have to take it back and start from scratch. The headache to get it up and running may not be worth it so I'm thinking I'll ask Tammy if she'd rather use the money for something else.
You may be asking yourself where I fall in all of this. Tammy is a mother too isn't she? Why is she working so hard? The answer is simple. My mother looks at that as part of our "rent" and everybody knows I'm not a cook. I know how to make one thing well but nobody seems to want Sweet n Sour Chicken on Mother's Day. This year I was trying to get Tammy's gift ready to give to her before the day ended but since I used time to do that I wasn't as much help so the entire thing backfired on me.
You also might be wondering what my sisters will say once they read this. Again, the answer is simple. They won't. One has to plan their family's next vacation to Aruba or Spain or wherever they're going next and the other has to think up new ways to berate her ex and turn most conversations around so the attention is on her.
-LG
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