Status: Unknown

One week gone, two funerals.  These words are being transcribed from paper and pencil that I wrote during both of them as thoughts come to me.  I was going to start this off with my decision as to whether or not I was leaving facebook altogether but the two deaths and the ensuing somber-ness gave me what I would like to think is some semblance of mental clarity, or at least the desire to record a few minor thoughts.  I'll get to the facebook thing later.

In the meantime, may Alta J. Spencer and Shirley Mae Riss rest in peace.  They were two ladies who simultaneously embodied love and self-empowerment. 

I don't know why this came to mind but since this is my blog I can screw it up if I want to.  I'm looking at Alta's funeral program and it's adorned with a picture her from when she was in her 20's.  She was born in 1922 so it was taken sometime during the 1940's. When I look at the picture it looks like it was taken during an era of a certain class and stye that you just don't see these days.  Shirley's program had no picture or I'd have included hers as well.















I toy with the idea of donning an older suit, a skinny tie, and the appropriate hairdo of the day and the hope that a photographer will help me out with it.  It wouldn't be for any other reason than to satisfy my curiosity of how photogenic I'd have been (or wouldn't have been) were I alive during that era.  I look more like my mom than my dad but here's what he looked like back in the day.

I think my wife would like the idea.  She's more about Audrey Hepburn and Danny Kaye than whomever today's pop culture has labeled popular.  In any case she was born in the wrong era  ;-).

Hmmmmm..........My wife and the photo style of the 40's?

She could join the ISO (Imperial Service Organization).  It's another branch of Star Wars cosplay ('cuz I don't have enough of that!  :D).  I have two facebook friends involved with it (one of whom founded it).  Here's a picture of Erin (hubba hubba  ;-)) and it's done with the same style with a bit of pin-up flair thrown in.  If any of you want to know more about the ISO I can put you in touch with a couple of people.  I believe it was Nic Bradbury that took the Erin pic but I'm not sure.  Unless somebody tells me otherwise he's getting credit.




Now, the original reason for this post was to see if I was going to stick around facebook.  Honestly I still can't say for sure one way or the other.  Facebook is nothing if not able to feed our egocentricity and don't we all like to say "Look at me!" once in a while and have others satisfy our need for acknowledgment?  Twitter and Facebook assist us there but they've also taken digital stalking to a new level.

I've seen good reasons to stay and I've seen good reasons to go.  When I came back there was one message, nine new notifications, and one friend request.  I don't have any delusions about my popularity so I'm not worried about numbers but since a large portion of those were game requests (I said to stop that, btw!) even those low numbers were misleading.  A large number of my online friends I've never actually met so other than the ones I know through a mutual acquaintance I suspect that they just thought my profile picture was cool (It is cool isn't it?  hehe.  Thanks for taking yet another great picture Nic).

I got more studying done and things that were actually productive.  I used my time for other pursuits and picked up a few new interests.  Actually, I shouldn't say "new" but there are books I want to read and things I want to learn more about that I found I had time to pick at.

I had people outside of blog "followers" tell me that they actually read this.  While I still maintain I do it for me it's nice to know I'm not entirely uninteresting, and my status "updates" are nothing more than an attempt to make people laugh, or at least smile or mildly chuckle.  It makes me feel good to make others feel good so it's no surprise that posting a humorous update or putting on sometimes cumbersome and uncomfortable red plastic to entertain are favorite pastimes of mine.  I wish my wife had taken some pictures during my trip to 'Boo at the Zoo' with the family while donning the Magmatrooper.  She took the kids to the bathroom while I waited by the reptile house.  When she got back there was a line of people wanting pictures with me. It wasn't an official event, it was just me wanting to spend time with the family and it's the only costume I own.

...and I just got sucked into the 'look at me' mentality again...

Ahem, back on point.  My self-imposed fb absence was a good exercise in self-discipline that I think I passed but it was easier to complete knowing it wasn't the end.  I'm not sure if continuing as I did before or quitting altogether should be my only two choices.  I may need to consider a third option but currently I'm sitting at an impasse.  It's not facebook I have a hard time leaving, it's all of you.

-LG

I think I'm done now.

I'm leaving you Jerry, and I'm taking the monkey with me......
Jim Carrey = me.
Jerry = facebook.

Let's face it, facebook is nothing more than a glorified chatroom with a chat feature.  How redundant is that?  It provides a nice distraction from time to time but I'm just not into it anymore.  It'll be hard to leave some of you but those that need to reach me have my cell #, email address, Alpine Garrison forums, or some combination of the three.  If you don't have one of these and would like it, send me a message and I'll get some contact information to you.
 
I plan to bookmark some of the golden nuggets I've found on here but I'm planning on leaving facebook behind.  This is not any sort of stand against "the man" (a.k.a. Mark Zuckerberg) but if "The Social Network" had any truth to it, Mr. Z. is kind of a jerk and since I don't have any creative videos to share and I wouldn't know how to post them to youtube if I did I doubt my absence will have any sort of major impact on my wall.

Just so everybody knows, I'm not a big believer in reposting stuff that says "Repost this if...".  I simply want to go on record now as saying I am not ashamed of my belief in Jesus Christ, I hate bullying, I know people who have suffered from cancer, I think child abuse is abhorrent, sexual predators should be castrated, cruelty to anything or anybody is a serious character defect, porn websites should have the .xxx extension so they're easy to block, and I support the teaching profession even though I'm not in that field.  Lest people think I'm a horrible human being, I care about these issues, just don't equate lack of reposting with lack of empathy.

Actually, now that I think about it I think I'll probably go in baby steps and begin by going facebook free for a week or so and see how it goes. My close friends aren't that close anymore.  That's mostly geographic but I haven't talked with any of them for quite some time.  I haven't been able to pin that on any concrete reason, we've just kind of drifted apart.  I still plan to blog from time to time but facebook won't be a medium used to let people know it's here.
 
During whatever time I have left on facebook you probably won't see me posting much besides humorous status updates.  Nobody cares what I ate for breakfast or needs to see yet another picture of me in a Star Wars costume.  I looked back through my pictures and honestly, how many pictures of a red stormtrooper can you see before you're tired of them?  It's kind of cool that I'm one of only seven (currently) in the world...
(http://www.coloradoconnection.com/news/story.aspx?id=684784#.TsAfZVawVT8) but you could say the same thing about a rare butterfly or something.  Quite simply, I like to laugh and to make others laugh with / at me.  Humor is my way of dealing.


To my 501st / Alpine Garrison family, I can't troop like I did a year ago.  My schedule simply won't allow it.  I'm not professing to be too mature for trooping (I can't see that happening), it's just that now I'm required to work during the time that 95% of the troops take place.  I hate that I have to do it but the trade off is that I get a second attempt at something that might resemble an actual life.  At my age I can't afford to dilly-dally or squander the opportunity.  I don't commit to events simply because of a conflict of schedule but I always feel guilty about not explaining why on the forums.  I may still have the temptation to do so but if I don't, just know that I always wish I could be there trooping alongside you.

I hope this finds all of you well.

-LG

Exercises in Self-Mastery

Be friendly to somebody you don’t particularly like.

Reach out to someone you haven’t had contact with in quite a while.

Be impeccable with your word.

Don’t make assumptions.

Always give thanks and gratitude.

Attempt to understand a different viewpoint.  Those who don’t know their opponent’s point of view don’t truly understand their own.

Forgive those you feel have wronged you (this is the toughest one).

In my last post I mentioned an article on forgiveness.  I felt it was a wonderful piece that everyone who comes across it should read.  I am just as guilty as anybody at not being able to forgive in certain situations so this list of self-mastery exercises is just as much for me as anybody else.  Much of the rest of this is either directly quoted from that article or I’ve utilized the ideas contained therein.

The dictionary defines "forgive" as "to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong), and to "stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake."  According to a 2010 survey conducted for the Fetzer Institute, 62 percent of Americans believe they need more forgiveness in their personal lives and 90 percent believe we need more forgiveness in America.    First though, I'm going to define the practice as I see it.

First of all, forgiveness should not be confused with accountability.  If one person forgives another, that’s not the same as telling them that what they did was OK.  They’re saying, “I’ve moved on”.  They’re above it.  It shows a lot of thought about their willingness to leave it behind.  Forgiving someone is not the same as condoning their actions, nor does it mean you no longer remember it, because you can’t un-remember it.  It just means that you’re no longer willing to be poisoned by that anger.   

The anger no longer serves you.  It does not mean you’re okay with it.  Anger may prompt someone, like an abused spouse, to take action.  But holding on to that anger longer than necessary may be “toxic”.  Forgiveness is like letting go of the poison.  If you stay angry your whole life you’re still being victimized everyday.

Letting go of the anger, however, and forgiving someone is a process, not a single event.  Each person will let go of their anger and forgive at their own rate.  Your forgiveness process would look different than mine, even if the cases were identical.  The difficulty increases proportionately with the degree to which the victim feels they've been wronged.  Forgiving somebody for breaking your DVD is much different than forgiving a drunk driver for accidentally killing your family.

Forgiveness is not a strictly religious concept either.  It has been around since the beginning of time but if I can wax religious for just a moment, the late Gordon B. Hinckley, former President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (my faith, for those of you wondering) said, “Forgiveness allows the love of God to purge your heart and mind of the poison of hate”.

Other than religious philosophies, another reason some offer forgiveness is because it can give them a sense of empowerment over their (for lack of a better word) “attacker”.  Who is able to grant forgiveness to another?  Not a judge or board of pardons.  There’s only one person that can forgive and that’s the victim.  I can see words of of forgiveness hurting a perpetrator just as much as telling them they’ll never be forgiven.

So there it is, my challenge to myself (as well as any of you who wish to attempt it).  If I make it through any of the things on my list in this life I’ll consider it a marked success.

For the full article, go to: 

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705390271/Letting-go-of-poison-In-wake-of-grief-families-offer-astonishing-acts-of-forgiveness.html

A Letter To Myself

Dear me,

I don’t know when (or if) you’ll actually read this but it seems prudent to write, whether as a re-attempt at a failed Junior High assignment or because I think I can actually help you (I’m not actually sure.)  I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I’m hoping you’ll make better choices than I have so this letter is an attempt to help you do just that.

I realize we are the sum of all our experiences, for better or worse but the space-time continuum has only been breached on tv and in movies, and since we don’t have our jetpacks or flying cars in 2011 I’m hard-pressed to believe the media anymore.  For now I’m going to risk going through the worm-hole…or transcending it…or whatever you do when you slip between alternate dimensions.  I want to wake up a better person tomorrow so you need to make better choices today.  I want to be able to help out lots of people so read this.  I know you’re not an overly self-indulgent person but risk it for my sake….or your sake….ok, we’ll call it ‘our’ sake.

First, talk to our father more.  He is an incredibly smart man up until about 2002 or 2003.  Right about that time he starts forgetting things that you and the rest of the family attribute to old-age and the fact that they are normal things to forget, like what time church is at and where he put his toothbrush.  In 2005 he reluctantly goes to the doctor and the official diagnosis of Alzheimer’s is rendered.  I know you’ve never experienced news like this but take this as an impetus to record thoughts, feelings, discussions, et.al that you have with dad before the opportunity is gone.  He was there for serious life discussions for a few of your friends and like an idiot you didn’t record those experiences.  I wish you had so I could read them now.

Here in 2011 he’s gotten lost enough times that if that same police officer brings him home again they may bring up the subject of a “home”.  The handle on the front door comes off and it’s really hard to open without it.  I just found this little trick about a month or so ago so look for it and you might be able to save yourself some headache.

I’m sure mom cries a lot but she’s pretty good about hiding it.  When we find dad urinating in the laundry room drain or wearing multiple pairs of underwear or letting his toenails and fingernails grow to ungodly lengths she puts on a brave smile and even laughs a bit but you can see the hurt behind it.  When you move in to their basement the original plan will be to live there temporarily while you look for a new place.  She will ask you to stick around once the diagnosis knocks the wind out of everyone.  You’d oblige anyway but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to prepare you for it, not that preparing you for news like that actually works but…

Try to get along better with your sister.  I know you haven’t gotten along very well at all since birth but still try.  If you make the effort maybe it won’t be so difficult for me now.  She tormented us mercilessly as a child and it has affected you ever since so I understand your frustration.  She has her faults but so do we all.  She’s made some decisions we don’t agree with but you don’t really have the right to give her advice since my life hasn’t exactly gone the way you imagined it.  She won’t listen to you anyway, she’s headstrong that way.

Develop better study habits.  Right now you’re all about the fun and because of that I’m in serious danger of passing that habit onto our son (wow that sounds weird.)  It’s hard for me to preach vigilance when you’ve already given me poor self-discipline due to your lack of it.  Because we now have a family it’s a different dynamic.  I can’t just go into the ‘office’ or ‘study’.  Since I’m currently living in mom’s basement and there is a wife and two children involved, locking the door doesn’t seem like very good parenting / husbandry.  Tammy (you’ll meet her in June of 1998 on a blind date) has agreed to the sacrifice of taking care of the kids alone (for the most part) until you finish a year-long program.  That’s incredible self-sacrifice on her part but I’m not that smart so I’m not picking up on this stuff as quickly and the longer it takes to get through it the longer she’s stuck here and the longer I have to live with the guilt of not doing better by them.

Speaking of the family, be a better husband and father.  I wouldn’t say I’m doing a horrible job but I could be doing so much better.  Get your life in order.  Study something other than Organizational Communications.  When you start school the big push will be just to get a degree regardless of what field it’s in.  By the time you graduate things will have changed and most places will only be hiring field-specific education like law or medicine.  I’d say go into Elementary Education because at some point you’ll have a penchant and an interest but right now teachers are getting screwed.  I can’t tell you if it gets better because they’ve been getting screwed for a long time and it doesn’t show any signs of improving.  Those who choose to go into the teaching profession are exceptional people.  That's not to say that every teacher is great.  Joel (that's what you'll name him) is assigned to a teacher we're not that thrilled with, and we're not the only ones who feel that way.  I’m not saying you’re not exceptional.  I just want you to be forewarned.

Maybe computer science is the way to go.  I’m typing this on a computer that crashes constantly… actually, ‘crashes’ isn’t the right word, probably ‘freezes’ is the better way to put it.  In any case, I could fix this thing right now if you study it then.  As it is I have to pay somebody else to fix it and last time I did that they did a sh***y job ‘cuz it still doesn’t work.  If you study computers maybe I won’t be trying to figure them out at 40 years old.  I don’t really care what you study.  Just try to find something field-specific that could turn into an actual career.

You’ll have a great run with your five closest friends in Jr. High and High School but you’d be naïve enough to think it’ll last forever.  Don’t get me wrong, your High School friends are the best you’ve ever had but part of growing up is letting go. 

Darron’s life takes him to Washington State where he’ll flip houses when he’s not deployed.

 Jon is in Mexico City as part of the DEA and he’s not big on correspondence anyway. 

Steve currently still lives close by but with six kids and two jobs it’s really only on special occasions that we see him. 

Scott moved to Texas without telling anyone.  He called Steve from the car while driving there.  You see Scott as a close friend now but he’ll turn on you after marrying his second wife.  Heaven only knows what she did to influence him.

Troy lives about five hours away and is a 39-year old bachelor.  Whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up for his lack of effort in the dating scene.  He’s blown off so many more girls than you ever tried to set him up with.  He’ll have to live with those choices.  He claims to want to get married but he doesn’t act like it much.

Be grateful for the friends you make along the way.  Remember that dream you had of wanting a stormtrooper costume when you were little?  It comes true because of some cool people you’ll meet later.  Don’t buy the first thing someone suggests though.  It never fits you right and you end up selling it for a loss.  I’m working on another one but time is at a premium now like it never was before. 

A few of these people go through some rough times.  Don’t feel too bad about not being able to help them.  They will know your heart is in the right place but you’re just not in a position to help like you want to.  You won’t always agree with their choices but I’m glad you weren’t judgmental.  That’s one of the things dad taught you at a young age that’s still with me today. 

Oddly enough, these people are better friends to you than members of your own faith.  I don’t say this to scare you away from believing, I say this to prepare so you’ll have the strength to deal with it better than I did when things got tough.  Eventually you won’t feel like you have any people close by that you can really call a friend and you’re just going through the motions.  Just remember there is nothing wrong with our beliefs.  It isn’t about social networking, it’s about a lifestyle that you know will make you a better person.  The problem is that there are huge misconceptions about those beliefs that others don’t understand.  Stay strong and you will be respected for it.  I haven’t been as strong as I should have but I am trying.  I need your strength so a little help would be appreciated.  You’ll even play with the idea of getting a tattoo at some point but you won’t actually go through with it.  There is simply nothing out there that you’ll want on your body permanently but I’ve got a few designs in mind in case the liver spots become too much of a problem ;).

Study a new vocabulary word everyday…or something.  I’m amazed at how Nic and Jen can just seamlessly draw on their inner thesauruses…thesaursi…thesaur….that thing that helps you find better words that mean the same thing (one of Nic’s blog posts actually gave me the idea for this one.)  They can utilize their command of the English language and create beautiful sentences.  That’s right, I said beautiful – see also:  admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, beauteous, bewitching, charming, classy, comely, cute, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, excellent, exquisite, fair, fascinating, fine, foxy, good-looking, gorgeous, graceful, grand, handsome, ideal, lovely, magnificent, marvelous, nice, pleasing, pretty, pulchritudinous, radiant, ravishing, refined, resplendent, shapely, slightly, splendid, statuesque, stunning, sublime, superb, symmetrical, taking, well-formed, wonderful.  Ooh, I really like pulchritudinous.  We’ll go with that one.  In any case, I’m not a bad writer, I’m just jealous of the abilities of other people so maybe you should study English.

Just to hedge my bets you should also remember:

Google, buy stock in Steve Jobs and anything that begins with “i” (like iPod, iPad, iPhone, etc…), bet on the St. Louis Rams for Super Bowl XXXIV (that’s right, I said St. Louis) and the Boston Red Sox for the 2004 World Series.  I figure if you can’t make me a better person you can at least make me a rich one.

Sincerely,

Me in 2011

Gonna go virtually "unplugged"

This doesn't mean I'm gonna become a hermit and go commune with the elk or get mauled by a grizzly bear for wandering around in their territory a-la Timothy Treadwell (I'd hot link that name but I don't know how :( ) but I've decided to give up on a few things because after contemplating it for a while I've found that they aren't good for me or my family life.

First off is facebook.  I am not deleting the account permanently as there are a few people on there that I have no other means of contact for.  I tried deleting it permanently but cold turkey wasn't feasible for that reason.  I suppose if I ever get those people's email addresses I will kick the habit but until then I've decided to just check in from time to time while leaving the occasional humorous status update.  Anybody that needs to reach me should already have my cell number.  I won't give it out to just anybody but if you think you'll want to reach me sooner and if you'd like my cell number send me a message and I'll decide whether you're worthy to have it :P  I'll be weaning myself off facebook but it'll be gradual and it won't actually be 'quitting', I'll just be seriously dialing it back a few notches.

I've also found a lot of hate over there.  Religious groups attacking atheists, straight people attacking gays, Democrats vs. Republicans, thin vs. fat, dog people vs. cat people, Ford vs. Chevy, Coke vs. Pepsi, etc...ok, so those last ones were made up but you get my point (and just so everybody knows the attacks go both ways).  Nobody seems to want to co-exist anymore.  I'm not saying I agree with everyone's choices but I keep my viewpoints to myself, at least in a worldwide setting like facebook.  The last thing I need is for somebody to say something hateful to me for my point-of-view.  I'll have a calm discussion or a healthy debate if it's warranted but I'm not going to open up myself for attack just because of my choice of political candidate.  My dad told me to vote my conscience even if it's not who he would vote for.  He wanted to teach me to think about the issues important to me.  I'm glad he taught me that before the Alzheimer's took over.  I admit I'm not always too bright though.  Sometimes I need my wife to explain stuff to me since I don't speak politician.

I also won't be accepting any game requests (unless you have a really good reason for it).  I actually haven't accepted any requests for a while now so that part isn't hard.  On a side note, some people need to know that Farmville, Farmtown, Vampire Wars, Mafia Wars, Superhero City, Cafe World, Tree World, Fish World, Geek World, Word World, Everything Awesome World, and any other "World" NEVER end.  I admit they are addicting but they'd have more staying power for me if there was some sort of closure.  I suppose the point is to show off your virtual goodies to others to prove how much time you waste.  I digress though, I have lots of facebook friends who love those games and they probably provide entertainment.  All I'm saying is that the games alone are a real time-drain and I need to focus my time elsewhere.  After 12 years of having no study habits I'm going back to educating myself so I can put something other than "knows how to drive a forklift" on my resume.  I'd like to say I could fall back on my previous study habits but those weren't so great either so this is really out of my comfort zone.  I'm knuckling down now though.

Secondly, the xbox 360.  I became an xbox guy for one reason and one reason only...it was what my close friends had at the time so we'd get together occasionally and play.  My friends all grew up and got real jobs and stuff but I decided to forge ahead on the same road and got the xbox 360 so I could get online with lots of [obscenity laced] trash talkers and  people who have found new ways to manipulate the network so they have an unfair advantage (see also:  cheaters).  What's the point?.....No, seriously, I'm asking you.  Are you that hard up for gamerscore points and rep that you have to cheat at a GAME?  I've heard lots of these people's vocabulary and if you took profanity out of their lexicon they'd have to revert to sign language.  I tried to find friendly games but they just don't exist anymore and the only people that play them are in private matches.  I have relatives that link up sometimes but it's few and far-between enough that paying for a monthly service just isn't worth it anymore.

I've also (hopefully) rented the last game I'll ever rent (unless there's a really good reason to rent again).  Not that I don't find fun games out there but if I'm worried about how to defeat Shao Kahn instead of helping with dinner, that's not healthy.  Honestly, I don't know how some people do it.  My thumb had a cramp in it after trying for three hours.  Shao Kahn is wicked hard to beat and that's three hours I'll never get back.  I just ended up going to YouTube and watching it.  You can find just about anything there.

I've actually contemplated getting rid of the console altogether but my son still uses it from time to time.  If it were just him I'd probably bite the bullet and let him ride out his frustration but my wife tells me it's a great distraction for him when she needs him to zone out so she can get other things done.

The computer will stay because that's what I'll be studying.  I'm not sure exactly what area I'll find interesting but I want to study I.T. stuff.  I'm sick of having other people screw my laptop up when I think I can screw it up by myself thankyouverymuch!   I actually already started a class but I was behind from the first day.  I'll have to pay to take the class again but I'm hoping it's worth it.  Say what you will about D.I. but I'd say the minimum-wage for education is a pretty good tradeoff.  The sucky part is always having to work Saturdays.  That's when my fellow geeks get together and entertain the masses.  I can still get the time off if the event is important enough to me and I give enough notice but I sure miss being able to just take off and go on the weekends.  I always looked forward to trooping.  Periodically my friends will get together out of the costumes (....okay, that came out wrong but you catch my drift) and just hang out but recent situations have made it so we can't do that as often anymore either.

This is not goodbye, this is just a longer version of 'catch you later', so.....'catch you later'.

-LG

What Mother's Day SHOULD be...and then there's MY family.

WARNING: The second half of this post is angry. I'll probably feel differently tomorrow but writing in the moment captures the emotions better.

What Mother's Day SHOULD be...

I know this is going to shock some of you but Mother's Day is supposed to be a day for...............wait for it..............celebrating mothers. Do you feel enlightened yet? To be fair the really irresponsible girls who ingest cocktails of narcotics and then get pregnant only to pass on their irresponsible lifestyle to their offspring might be one of several exceptions to this but you get the idea. Most any female can biologically be defined as a "mother" after conception and birth, but there's a more stringent set of rules to getting the title of "mommy" or "mom" and having it mean something.

Emma Thompson's character Dr. Diana Redden in the film "Junior" summed it up pretty well. "Your body gets peculiar with your first period and doesn't stop until menopause. It's a lifetime of leaking and swelling and spotting and smears - crippling cramps, raging hormones, yeasts - and that's if everything's normal". To whomever may read this, I don't quote this line to start a battle of the sexes. The genders are separate and different for various reasons and I really don't want to get into it. My point in saying this is that it's really not too much to ask to let the mother of your children (or your own mother) have one day a year of "me" time. Breakfast in bed, a date night without the kids, or even leaving her alone completely are all viable options. The idea is that it should be catered to her so find out what she wants.

Now, what Mother's Day was like in MY family today...

My siblings and all their children showed up at my parents place for dinner and a visit. That's what we'd normally do anyway so it's not a biggie, but since we're living there there's a new wrinkle that I'll get into later. Those that know me already know why I'm living there, those that don't can read previous blog posts and find out.

Anyway, the point is that since dad isn't capable of helping mom out at all and she's really in no shape to be entertaining in the first place, guess who gets stuck with most of the preparations? I guarantee if we weren't still living there they'd hold the celebration someplace else, or at least help out more. To be fair, they do bring potluck so it doesn't fall solely on us but mom wants the place clean for these types of occasions so we have to clean up before they get here. Not a small request when my two children are involved. One of my sisters actually called up to ask what my wife had planned for Mother's Day. I don't cook and since my parents want the company they looked to us to make it happen. I help out where I can but this year I was trying to get my wife's Mother's Day gift ready and I wasn't planning on preparing for the extra company.

So the family gets here, the chaos begins and somebody spills something that the dog promptly eats only to hork it back up on our dry-clean-only bedspread later. After everything is consumed and the dirty dishes are in the sink there's a short time for 'visiting' (I guess that's what they call it when they have time enough to not offer to help tidy up) and then it's time for them to go. Most of the kids do okay. There's one or two that still haven't learned basic manners but their parents are the ones I take issue with. I suspect their attitude is that any mess their kid makes will just be blamed on one of mine since we live here, our kids are younger and we'll have to clean it up anyway. Besides, since they both have kids they are mothers by definition, and therefore don't have to do anything on this day to celebrate them. I don't doubt they are wonderful moms but they've obviously passed on their lack of knowledge of being a guest to their kids.

Upon their departure we're left with a dirty crock pot, a sink full of dishes and a bedspread that smells like dog-hork, not to mention we get to clean up everything else they've dumped out too like games, books, DVD's and the like. Good thing I won't be here for Thanksgiving this year or I'd be tempted to go defecate in their cars while they're all still eating.

To top it all off I had a great mom's day gift in mind but the effing thing didn't work so I have to take it back and start from scratch. The headache to get it up and running may not be worth it so I'm thinking I'll ask Tammy if she'd rather use the money for something else.

You may be asking yourself where I fall in all of this. Tammy is a mother too isn't she? Why is she working so hard? The answer is simple. My mother looks at that as part of our "rent" and everybody knows I'm not a cook. I know how to make one thing well but nobody seems to want Sweet n Sour Chicken on Mother's Day. This year I was trying to get Tammy's gift ready to give to her before the day ended but since I used time to do that I wasn't as much help so the entire thing backfired on me.

You also might be wondering what my sisters will say once they read this. Again, the answer is simple. They won't. One has to plan their family's next vacation to Aruba or Spain or wherever they're going next and the other has to think up new ways to berate her ex and turn most conversations around so the attention is on her.

-LG

One year ago today.

You would be correct to assume that, as the title suggests, this is anniversary of sorts for me, and while April 1st is forever attached to my profile I assure you it is no April Fools joke. I know the time stamp on this says it was 11:14 on March 31st but it's wrong. The technology Gods are playing their own April Fool's joke on me.

One year ago today I officially became a member of the 501st Legion. I've mentioned this niche I've found and the group of friends that came with it in previous posts. I've probably mentioned it in other places too but I can't help it. Who doesn't share the source of their happiness whenever and wherever the opportunity arises?

Rather than prattle on endlessly of something you've all heard (read) before I think this will be more of a visual blog. It's one thing to look at the pictures, it's quite another to live them.

Enjoy...


Shameless plug for my daughter.

A little girl's dream finally came true...hehe.

Salvation Army bell ringing.

Raising money for an overseas adoption.

This father had terminal cancer.

Surprise for a child with Spina Biffida. (sp?)

Toys 4 Tots drive.

We play nice with other costume groups too.
Ori Cabur (a.k.a. Mike Neff from the Mandalorian Mercs - www.mandalorianmercs.com)

Liz Hales and Shane Gordon from the Rebel Legion (Aayla Secura and Biggs Darklighter - www.rebellegion.com)

...and my all time favorite 501st photo...and another shameless plug for my daughter.

-LG

When did I get old?

I'm not sure whether to categorize this question as rhetorical or one that I actually want an answer to. I've heard all the sayings: "You're only as old as you feel", "Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional", "We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing", etc., etc... I am the first to admit that for a 40-year old (I know some of you are gasping because I still act like I'm 17) I should be more "mature" (another term that requires some definition for me) but when did I start "aging", and more to the point, when did I start to really notice it? I mean, I'm old school from the days of no remote control for television and even before Al Gore was the only one with access to the internet.

I suppose we could all ask ourselves this to one degree or another. Some of the people I went to High School with have kids graduating High School now, others have kids in Jr. High and the upper grades of elementary school. The low percentages are those that are grandparents now and those that have kids not quite in Kindergarten yet (I fall into the latter). It feels like I missed the starting gun and am at least a lap behind. The good news is that it'll be a long time until anybody calls me grandpa. The bad news is that my children will have to change my diapers one too many times before they've had enough and throw my wrinkly bag of "dad" into a wheelchair and roll me to the old folks home. Orange jello on Tuesdays...yay!

But I digress. There is nothing we can do about aging or death. We can stop aging by dying early but that doesn't defeat my argument. Everything we do on this planet is nothing more than delaying the inevitable. A perfect illustration is Jack LaLanne. He made it to 96 after working out for 80 years. There are those that have lived longer but those people had some freaky DNA.

I try to stay young at heart by trooping. Most of my facebook friends know what this means but for those that don't, the nutshell version is that I dress up in Star Wars costumes and entertain the young and/or young-at-heart. Trooping is my Xanax, my Prozac...pretty much my happy pill across the board. Any of you that think I'm a geek for doing so, well...that's pretty tame compared to other things I've been called while growing up (which I still debate that I'm actually doing). I made my peace with my turbo-nerdery a long time ago and I've found it's just easier to embrace it. I also say don't knock it 'till you try it because unless you're a cold-hearted bast....*ahem*....Let's just say I guarantee you'd be surprised. My only concern is that my children will get the brunt of put-downs because of my pastime. I'm hyper-sensitive to that as I was the target of many a bully growing up.

Dang, I digressed again (although it gives me an idea for my next post)....back on track. To those that look at old people and go "eww" let me say a few things. I don't know when it will happen but it WILL happen. Here's a list of things I've noticed about me that I either fear will happen, or have already happened. Not all of these will apply to you but I'd be surprised if you don't relate to one or two of them.

You will find your optometrist telling you that your next prescription could very well be bifocals (this happened to me yesterday).

You will wake up one day and decide that you'd rather have something healthy (maybe Raisin Bran or something) for breakfast than something sugary and extremely un-healthy (maybe Lucky Charms).

You will notice you don't move as fast in the mornings and have a harder time bending over to tie your shoes.

Men will either notice grey in their hair (beard, moustache, chin slinky, soul patch, etc...) or they'll have less hair to notice grey in. Women will notice varicose veins and really start paying attention to ads for anti-aging creams.

You will look at other people and be envious of their jobs. I'm to be involved in a job training program put on by Deseret Industries. The local vernacular is D.I. and I believe there's a certain stigma that only slow learners and old people work there. I suppose I could fall into both of those categories.

You will find yourself deciding to stay in because going out becomes too much of a hassle (I hope this never happens to me).

You will pay more attention to health problems in your family and start looking for signs in yourself for fear that it might be hereditary.

I reserve the right to add to this list as I discover more.

You will all get old...unless you die first.

-LG

Who am I?

During this time of job searching I'm finding that my character is being tested.  I was laid off in May of 2010 so it's not very long before I've been out of work for a year.  The part I hate the most is answering the question about what I'm looking for.  It's a valid question to be sure, but what I'm looking for isn't necessarily what I'm qualified to do.

Here's the deal.  About a year ago I began looking through a study guide for taking the GRE test to get into the Masters program for education, specifically, Elementary Education.  About a month before I figured I'd be ready to take the test the bottom fell out of the teaching field and no new teachers were being hired.  In fact, many first year teachers were not having their contracts renewed.  Shortly after that I lost my job, so even though returning to school is still an option I'm not sure if I'd have a job at the end of it to pay back student loans.

I'm not going to sit and blame Obama for this mess.  He inherited a less than stellar economy but he didn't do anything to help it either.  I don't think the administration thought through the ramifications of forcing employers to pay for health care.  One major difference between me and Obama is that after he's no longer "working" he'll still be drawing a paycheck.  I'm not that lucky.  My personal belief is that the major flaw in the American political system is that whoever wins the election is wealthy so we know where their priorities lie from the get-go.  Hell, you can't even run for office without being rich.  I'd love to see how the country could be run by a blue-collar worker who's been in the plants, warehouses and factories working first hand.  Just a pipe-dream but it ranks up there with winning the lottery.

Anyway, I digressed a little bit there.  My point was that I'm still trying to come to grips with having no job.  I've heard it said that women get a large chunk of their self-worth by the cleanliness of their homes (and / or children).  Typically the first question men will ask each other is, "What do you do for a living"?  This question is devastating to self-image for men who are unemployed.  Granted it doesn't necessarily have a bearing on how good a husband or father I am (outside of the whole bread-winner thing) but it doesn't help.

So, who am I?  I'm a guy who likes to have a lot of fun dressing up and entertaining others.  I'm not the best at it but I enjoy it.  I'm a guy who doesn't make New Year's resolutions unless it's something I'm serious about changing.  I'm a guy who spends more time than he should in front of a computer wasting time with facebook and blogging, etc.  I'm a guy who has to watch Alzheimer's turn his father's once-brilliant mind to intellectual sludge and trying to do it with grace but failing miserably.  I'm a guy who wants to do right by his family but is finding it difficult to do it in this economy.

In short, I'm a regular guy who's going through some stuff.  Having said that I don't want to come across as complaining.  You can always find somebody who's suffering on a grander scale.  It might even be you.

-LG