I've been keenly aware of the aspect of bullying (cyber and otherwise) ever since the subject came to more of a forefront in the social consciousness but now that my 10-year old son has become a victim it's on my mind almost exclusively. Granted, most 4th graders won't be cyberbullying until they get their hands on some tech that allows it but verbal abuse still does damage in the meantime. The old saying "Sticks and stones...etc." is great until you're the one getting hurtful words hurled your way.
My son is not one to really point fingers. We're not sure if it's because he's trying to be strong or because the poisonous verbage goes over his head - he won't admit that there's really a problem but as my wife and I have both seen it firsthand it might be what catapults our minor concerns into full-blown ulcers.
We all remember the footage of Casey Heynes body-slamming his would-be tormentor after he'd had enough. While I applaud the fact that the skinny kid (Richard Gale) got his comeuppance...or slamdownance and (with any luck) won't be bullying again after the story got international attention of his butt-whoopin', I can't say that the ends justify the means.
I know it's a long shot but what if Casey had slipped, or if Richard had landed on his neck, or a multitude of other possibilities? He'd be paralyzed (or worse, dead) and Casey's future would effectively be over. The problem isn't just that bullies exist, it's that most (if not all of them) aren't capable of / interested in looking at a bigger picture. While some people will blow it off as 'boys being boys', it doesn't account for a) girls, or b) suicides. I'd like to think (perhaps myopically) that parents of bullies are just as concerned for their children as I am for mine. Death is no longer an unlikely scenario. Just ask the parents of these children who all committed suicide in 2010 due to bullying:
Phoebe Prince (15)
Josie Lou Ratley (15)
Alexis Pilkington (17)
Jon Carmichael (13)
Christian Taylor (16)
Justin Aaberg (15)
Billy Lucas (15)
Seth Walsh (13)
Tyler Clemente (18)
Asher Brown (13)
Raymond Chase (19)
Zach Harrington (19)
We are only two years removed from these names. While the bulk of the bullying that year was due to the victims being gay, one was reportedly because he was short (Jon Carmichael), one was for being Muslim (unnamed). Others were not confirmed that sexual orientation had anything to do with the bullying but their deaths brought attention to it so they were included in the list.
http://jezebel.com/5678658/the-year-in-bullying-a-horrific-timeline
Please don't judge me for not having 2012 stats. ;)
My son is very loving and caring but he suffers from severe ADHD with some social anxiety thrown in for good measure. He doesn't always know how to act in certain social situations and his resulting behavior can be considered a tad annoying. He's also a lightweight - he only ways about 56 lbs so fighting isn't in his best interests. If I'm being perfectly honest here he annoys the crap out of me sometimes too and I'm not always proud of my actions concerning him. I love him and I'm still learning and doing a lot of introspection as my own life was not entirely bully-free. He's 10 now and coming up to 11 in April. He's not that much younger than some of the aforementioned names. I brought this subject up in a facebook post not too long ago and got some very caring people offering messages of advice and support. I can't put into words how appreciative I am. Having said that, to put it bluntly, I'm scared.
I was looking for some other bullying footage to include and some of the things I came across broke my heart. I couldn't bear to put them here. Bullying and hatred are never ok. Attention has been brought to the problem, and while that's a positive step, unfortunately "attention" does not equal "solution". I can't promise that this subject won't come up in a future post.
As a final thought, I remember a nice poem that we'd all do well to emulate. Whether you're religious or not, the point is clear:
Your task,
To build a better world said God.
I answered: "How?"
The world is such a large vast place
So complicated now,
And I so small and useless am,
There's nothing I can do.
But God in his great wisdom said:
"Just build a better you".
Author Unknown
Building better us's will hopefully lead to better mini-us's.
